My exhaustion is exhausted. I’m not going to list everything that’s happened in the past couple of days. I will say that I must really want to succeed at what I’m doing now because otherwise this would have flattened me.
No. I lied.
Death in the family (not immediate family), serious work-work Challenges that have altered the foundation of my business, legal matters that have required immediate attention, side-hustle on the back burner and wasting away, locked into a two day web based training program while all this is going on, and, finally, the necessary/unavoidable purchase of a few real big-ticket items that have increased my expected monthly expenditures by a ridiculous sum …
It hasn’t even been a week and I feel like my whole life has changed. Oddly, my dreams have been extra-special bizarre, too.
I’m choosing to see this as a rebirthing process. The only difficult part of it is, you know, the frailty of my humanity. Needing exercise, nutrition, sleep, and, uh, basic life maintenance while I juggle … everything.
I feel like I’ve entered an altered state of mind. Like a runner’s high. I’ve been running this uphill marathon for long enough now that the pain has begun to subside. I can feel my muscles burning and yet my psyche is exhilarated, anticipating every new step I’m about to take. Right now, my inner self feels like I could go on forever. My outer self? She just stuffed her face with cereal and is falling asleep at the keyboard.
Is this love?