I’m feeling unlike myself. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself? Maybe I’m just not comfortable over-sharing? Or, maybe my problem with authority is so severe that even I just cannot tell myself what to do.
I took the morning to rest. That became the afternoon. I made a tiny bit of progress on my side-hustle before I just stopped. It’s now almost midnight—my once most productive day—and I’m feeling uninspired. I can’t even be mad at myself for not motivating myself.
I had a better time at this when I was doing it all for funsies. As an outlet for the stress of my daily life. And, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope my side-hustle took off and became the path forward for the rest of my life. But, I need to find that spark again. That joy.
Maybe I’m exhausted. Like, literally; what happened to Judy Garland when her doctors recommended she take a few years off to rest and recover. Only, that kind of rest is far less within my grasp than it was in hers. And that is saying a lot.
What is it about the world that requires some of us to work until the marrow in our bones aches just to survive another day to work some more … while others get to live? Is it karma?
What the devil did I do in past life?
Yes. I am dramatic. I have come to accept this as a fundamental aspect of my personality. But, seriously.