And here I am, my heart breaking …
No, I’m not sure why the lyrics to “Glitter and Be Gay” are stuck in my head right now, but they are. I am most certainly not glittering at the moment, nor am I feeling at all gay. I’m feeling as though I’ve done so much today and yet still haven’t made a dent in all that I had to do.
Where does the time go?
No, really—I’m asking.
What do the science bloggers have to say?
I have sat in front of this blessed screen for most of the day. I squeezed in some stretching, handled a few work-work communication issues that cropped up, and managed to eat real food (including lots of veggies!). And, still, I am about 1/4 of the way through my to-do list.
I did call it. I am notoriously bad at gauging how much time my tasks take. In my head, it’s all so clear. Then I get to work and the time slips away. The best I can compare it to is drawing. Remember being a little kid and having this wonderful vision in your mind’s eye? Then picking up your pencil and attacking that sheet of paper like your soul was pouring out of the lead! Then, finally, at long last, putting the pencil down and holding the paper up to gaze upon your masterpiece and thinking,
“What the heck? What is this?!”
Nothing. It looked nothing at all like what you’d envisioned. Your hand was a traitor, all heavy and unrefined, stubbornly refusing to bring forth your mental masterpiece when it was so obviously there. Right there, behind your eyes!
That’s what my days feel like at this point. I can see it. I can smell it. I can feel it.
I just can’t quite get it all done when I sit down to do it.
So, I guess I just give up.
Hahahahaha! Never! I am going to keep bashing my head against this wall until one of us breaks. Yeah, I know my head isn’t as tough as a wall, thanks. But, one day, even if I only take teeny tiny little steps forward, I’m going to get to my goal. Or die trying.
And that, dear reader, is worth it.